Back-to-School: Meltdown Edition
September 7, 2023 Comments Off on Back-to-School: Meltdown Edition
After sleeping on different beds, bunks, or floors for most of August, one of my kids was desperate to get back on a routine (barely holding it together, if we’re being honest) and the other would have gladly accepted an invitation to extend her Bohemian lifestyle. Still, regardless of age or temperament, one thing’s for sure: neither will be exempt from the back-to-school meltdowns. I’m talking complaints about the lunch they packed themselves (are we really still talking about mushy grapes?), falling to the floor when they’re reminded (again) to set the table, and accusations that nothing I say or do is right, especially if it relates to getting a good night’s sleep or finding a quiet space to do homework or daring to suggest they reconsider their jeans and hoodie since it’s 98 degrees. As I’m typing this, one is raging about the absence of graph paper and can I order it RIGHT NOW.
You might remember that in our house, thanks to Jory John and Lane Smith, we refer to these gripes as Penguin Problems.
The magical solution to back-to-school meltdowns? There is none, of course. We can delude ourselves that the perfect snack or perfectly-timed bath will stave off implosion, but we’re not fooling our kids. Short of a complete ban on speaking or making eye contact, about the only thing that approximates a balm for a back-to-school meltdown is to pull out a book…or two. Our children want us, but they do not want our questions about their day. Our children’s bodies are depleted, but they do not want suggestions for how to refuel. But nestling into our side (yes, even in 98 degrees) and listening to our voice, knowing they’re getting our full selves in that moment without any demands on them? That they can do. That’s the reset.
Usually. Sometimes.
And if those books can simultaneously validate that our children’s world has just been turned upside down, that instead of running around like feral beings they have to sit their bums in a chair and USE AN ACTUAL PENCIL, even better. Which is why, today, I’m showcasing two picture books with fantastic social-emotional content. One directly addresses school drop-off separation, while the other talks about the woes of nothing, not one single thing, going right across a school day. Both of them aren’t quick to offer fixes; rather, their power lies in the way they normalize and empathize, while also reassuring the listener that these feelings will pass.
As a bonus, both books are illustrated by one of my favorites, Hyewon Yum, whose whimsical, warm-toned pencil drawings never fail to bring a smile to my face, even (and especially) as she nails the different stages of a meltdown.
How does that saying go? If you can’t beat ‘em, you might as well laugh at ‘em? (Something like that.)
« Read the rest of this entry »Four New Faves Celebrating Mamas and Grandmas
May 5, 2022 § 6 Comments
(Warning: I put on my most matronly dress to rage at the patriarchy.) Ouch, it’s a tough week to be a woman in this country. A tough week to contemplate the future for our daughters—and, let’s be honest, our sons, since a woman’s right to exercise autonomy over her body has always been inherently linked to the opposite sex. To say nothing of the repercussions SCOTUS’ decision will have for Black or Indigenous populations, or those living below the poverty line, or the precedent this could set for overturning protections for the LGBTQ+ community. We have only to dig into history to see that progress is never a straight line, but it’s one thing to recognize this and another to live it, to watch the work of generations collapse in a single moment. The list is growing long for horrifying things I never expected to witness in my lifetime.
Now, here we are, staring down Mother’s Day, an already complicated holiday for those mourning mothers, mourning children, mourning dreams of having children—and a day that now feels even more loaded, weighed down with the understanding that a woman’s body can be at once celebrated for its childbearing and stripped of its rights.
This is a cheery post, eh? Don’t worry, I promise we’re going to talk about some beautiful, uplifting, joyful books in just a second.
Yes, it’s a tough moment in history to be a woman. But, let’s not kid ourselves: it has always been a tough time to be a woman. Voting rights, equal pay, maternity leave, working outside the home, the right to wear pants, for crying out loud: the list for what women have been made to suffer is endless.
And still, I love being a woman. I love being a mom. I love following in the legacy of the curious, courageous, complicated women who raised me. When the fear of raising a daughter creeps in during times like this, I remember the strength of my own mother and grandmothers. My mom, who suffered the greatest heartbreak imaginable in the sudden death of my father at 51 and rallied to step into roles and master tasks she’d never imagined for herself, for the sake of her teenage daughters. My one grandmother, who for years endured physical pain without a word of complaint, because she didn’t want to miss out on a single family activity. My other grandmother, who attended science lectures in her 90s where she was the only woman, not because she knew anything about the topic, but because her own children and grandchildren’s involvement in the world had inspired her to expand her mind.
Today, I’m highlighting four new picture books that star formidable mothers and grandmothers—the kind I aspire to be, the kind who remind me that we will not go quietly into the night. Not when we know better, not when we’ve learned from the best. (You can also refer back to some older posts for favorites, like this, this, this, and this.)
« Read the rest of this entry »Toys as Neurotic as Us
January 20, 2016 § 3 Comments
If my children are playing nicely together (sound the trumpets!), chances are high that they’re in the company of stuffed animals. Once a stuffed animal enters our house and is given a name, it assumes an infallible place in JP and Emily’s communal imagination, albeit in an ever-changing litany of roles, from pet to circus performer. My kids crochet leashes for their animals; they bury them in boxes of peanuts and push them around the house; they string them from ceiling fans. They emerge from their respective bedrooms on weekend mornings, eyes partly open, with half a dozen animals tucked under their arms, ready for action.
Two tigers (Hobbies and Hobbies Jr.), a giant panda in a bellman uniform (Cookie), two doughnuts (Sprinkles and Sprinkles 2), and a monogrammed pillow (named, for whatever nonsensical reason when JP was two, Bag of Worms) are just a few of the soft friends that make frequent appearances in my children’s play. Still, as JP and Emily are quick to remind me, the life of a stuffed animal doesn’t begin and end at the hands of a child. The more exciting question is: what shenanigans do these toys get up to when their children are asleep or away? « Read the rest of this entry »
In Honor of the Dads
June 5, 2014 § 2 Comments
This month marks 20 years since I lost my father: my hero, my biggest supporter, the first Big Love of my life. I find that, as my own children get older, and I get to share in their many milestones (just this spring, JP learned to ride a two wheeler, scored his first soccer goal, and passed his deep water test), I am filled with a new kind of sadness over how much my Dad has missed out on as a parent himself.
As graduations wrap up around the country, I think about how my Dad never got to watch me go off to his own beloved Alma Mater. I think about how he never got to hear me rant and rave about my first job at an advertising firm. He never got to step foot into my first apartment, the first space I ever decorated completely on my own. He never got to walk me down the aisle, or get to know the man with whom I would choose to spend my adult life. He never got to parade around photos of his grandkids at work, or show off Manhattan to my daughter, as my Mom did just this past weekend. He never got to read these blog posts, which I know he would have done, because he always, always, made time for my writing.
Following Papa’s Song (Ages 3-6), a new picture book by Gianna Marino, is a stunning and poetic tribute to the father-child relationship. « Read the rest of this entry »
What to Read to Your Kids 